Attention ALL Canadians!!!! You may THINK you live in a Free and Independent Country, but let me tell You, that is far from the Truth! I have recently uncovered a shocking CONspiracy that dates back to the founding of Canada as we know it today. It all starts with the town of "100 Mile" House, located in the Cariboo districted region of BRITISH Columbia.
Why is it called "100 Mile" House, you may ask? I'll tell you why: it's because of an INSIDIOUS PLOT by the Americans to destroy Canada's cultural identity by forcing us to use THEIR measurement system instead of our own! WAKE UP CANADA! You NEED TO KNOW that in the gold rush era WE used the Metric System just like the rest of the CIVILIZED world. WE measured distances in kilometers, not "miles". But then, the Americans came along with their DEVIL'S IMPerial system and they wanted to FORCE us to adopt it too!
But because WE are PROUD Canadians WE refused!!! WE didn't want to conform to American ways!! WE wanted to be our own unique, Independent Country. So what did the Americans do? They decided to take revenge on us by naming towns and cities with mile-based names just to REMIND us that WE were in their "sphere of influence" now. That's, why WE have places like "100 Mile" House and "70 Mile" House and "108 Mile "Ranch - it's all part of their evil plan to erase our cultural identity and replace it with their Own!!!
Now some of you may say that this is all Just A Coincidence. After all there are plenty of other towns and cities in Canada that use the Metric System for naming distances. But I say that's just what They want you to think! Those other towns are just part of a SMOKESCREEN to DISTRACT US from the Real Plot to turn Canada into the 51st state of the UNITED STATES OF DEATH-MERICA.
So what can WE do about this??? WE need to REsist!!!! WE need to stand UP for our Cultural IDentity and demand that Our Government take action to stop this American invasion!! WE need to RENAME ALL these mile-based towns and cities with proper CANADIAN names and WE need to start using the Metric System in all aspects of Canadian life. Only then can WE truly be FREE, independent, and PROUD Canadians!
Not only are the Americans trying to destroy Canada's cultural identity by forcing us to use their IMPerial measurement system, but they are also morally bankrupt for using it in the first place! You see the Metric System is the only LOGICAL and RATIONAL way to Measure Things. It's based on a Universal Standard: the meter which is based on the Distance light travels in a VACUUM in 1/299792458th of a second. This kind of PRECISION and ACCURACY is simply impossible with the archaic System of feet inches and POUNDs!
But the Americans don't care about logic or accuracy. They're too busy clinging to their outdated IMPerial ways which only serves to show just how GODLESS and CORRUPT they truly are. Using units like yards, miles, and gallons just shows how much they value their OWN system of measurement over the Rest Of The World. By using such a primitive and ineffective system they are essentially CUTTING themselves off from the Rest Of The World and REFUSING to CONFORM to Global Standards!!!!!!!!!!!!
This Refusal to Conform speaks to a Larger Issue with America as a Nation: their ARROGANCE and Lack of Respect for other Cultures. It's no wonder that they continually FAIL to understand and empathize with other Nations and instead resort to BULLying and imposing their Own Values on Others. The Metric System represents a True Global Standard that shows RESPECT for all Nations and Cultures by providing a Common Standard for measuring Things.
It's time for the World to Unite behind the Metric System and leave the IMPerial system behind where it belongs: in the Dumpster of History, along with HITLER and SMALLPOX and THE FRENCH.
Have you ever stopped to THINK about why America still uses the IMPerial System? When EVERY other Country In The World has switched over to the metric system and yet they stubbornly cling to this OUTdated and confusing System of Measurement. WELL MY FELLOW PATRIOTS I have DIScovered the Shocking Truth: The IMPerial System is actually a secret System for dEVIL WORSHIPPING!
EVERYONE NEEDS TO OPEN THEIR EYES AND SEE THIS. The name "IMPerial" actually starts with "IMP" which is short for "IMPish" aka also KNOW AS "DEMONIC." And if that wasn't enough,just think about all the weird and confusing measurements in the imperial system. Inches feet YARDS, miles. Who made up this RIDICULOUS Stuff??? Clearly it was the dEVIL hIMSELF.
But why??? Why would Satan care about a System of Measurement? It's all Part of hIS plan to subtly Infiltrate our Daily Lives and corrupt GODS CHILDREN from within!!!!! By using the IMPerial System we are unwittingly Bowing Down to the Forces of Darkness and inviting EVIL into Our HEARTS!!!!!!!!!!
WE are facing a Grave sATANIC Threat from our southern Neighbour the United States of DEATH-merica. As I have previously explained QED the Americans have been waging a Covert War against Canada for decades with the GOAL of ERASING our Cultural Identity and turning us into the 51st state BECUASE they are Manipulated by THE dEVIL!! But NOW it is TIME to Fight Back with a CAMPAIGN OF TOTAL WAR!!!!!!!!
You may be thinking, "But how could WE possibly Defeat the Most Powerful Military In The World?" Fear NOT my FELLOW Canadians!! WE have a secret weapon that the Americans cannot match: the Metric System!!! By using this SUPERIOR Measurement System, WE will be able to Confuse and Confound the enemy at every Turn. They will be unable to navigate our highways or read our road signs or UnderStand our MAPS. WE will be able to strike from unexpected directions and catch them off Guard.
But WE cannot rely on the Metric System alone. WE must also launch a Massive Propaganda Campaign aimed at convincing the world that the Americans are DEVILISH INFLUENCED because they use the IMPerial measurement system. WE will portray them as backward and ignorant for clinging to outdated ways of thinking while the rest of the world marches forward into the future. This will not only weaken THEIR Resolve but also turn public Opinion against THEM.
BE WARNED this will not BE an Easy Campaign. WE will face opposition from within our own borders from those who have been BRAINWASHED by American propaganda. WE may even face Sabotage and TREACHERY from American spies and sympathizers. But WE cannot let THAT deter us. WE must be willing to do whatever it takes to protect our Cultural Identity and ensure that Canada remains a free and independent NATION.
So I CALL upon ALL Canadians to join Me in this Campaign of Total WAR!!! Let us show the World that WE will not be SUBjuticad by sATAN or the Americans or AnyONE Else. Let US Fight For Our Right to use THE Metric System and To Be a Unique And Independent Nation. Together, WE can Achieve Victory!!!
LONG LIVE SIR JOHN EH MACDONALD!!!!!!!!!